Sunday, September 14, 2014

Urinate Post Haste Your Hate Upon Your Shit Fuck or how I quit Facebook!

Anyone who is anyone uses facebook to waste their precious time as they become old useless sacks of shit. I always wanted to be a useless sack of shit, so I joined and gathered fwends as Flaming Twat Lips aka Biley Synus spell it. So one of the fun distractions is the TRENDING section, where you can see what important stories are TRENDING. Let's take a look at them now.
Hey so far so good, an elite athlete defends his notoriety and record of flawlessness, at least in the ring. Maybe I got angry too fast, let's settle down and see if the rest of these are general silliness.
Sure the song has been covered numerous times by tons of people and is this version really that much worse? Just settle down, it's just a cover of a song.  Heck, Led Zeppelin covered tons of songs and didn't even bother crediting them until well after the fact. 

Who marries who? Who gives a shit.

Ahh here is that feel good story.

Oh sorry, this is the feel good story of the struggles of the mohamed cock sucking cunts fighting for their legitimacy as feeble religious shit stains walking the desert attacking the world one horrendous act at a time, keep winning those hearts and minds. Surely this technique will work wonders against space age weapons the US is now forced to cleave upon your inbred fucking empty skulls to avenge people that if anything would have given you a voice. You chose instead to play allah.

What a fun story to juxtapose with the previous two, a bunch of inbred fucktards that go to college to drink and fuck and incur extravagant debt found time to film a video lip synching a terrible song. Awww let's watch and die inside.

Wow, glad I had money on this game, oh wait what is this again, baskretball, stupidball, sockhole, fieldfuckcunttwatball?

These aren't even fucking words, yes something happened in Spain, got it, FUCK YOU!

What could be more important than the fucking Simpsons trying to stay relevant by inserting themselves in a serious debate on independence. 

JR, is that the guy that killed the other guy, or is this not the guy that killed the other guy, I'm guessing this is a different guy, NASCAR sure is fun and filled with murderous rednecks hawking beer and detergent at your stupid house waifs.

But let's talk more about Biley Synus, cus she's fun.

Oh I'm ready to rock, Always!  Ooh good, it's apparently gritty, I can't wait.

Dramatically Lo-Fi, wow I'm so intrigued by this Dirty Hippie? Yes lay it on me Biley!

Woah, it could change the way I think about her music? Really? No way, well I better listen to it instantly. Here's money watch me throw it at her, I want more! OH SHIT did you just say a whole album of Beatles covers, what a bargain.

Shit you ain't even mad, hell I ain't even mad, who could be mad at a time like this, it's time to celebrate this triumph.

Hey everybody, it fucking rocks, so you know get your headbanging boots on, cus it's about to get nasty up in here. 

So here it is, our Gritty, Dramatically Lo-Fi Cover, we really felt we could accentuate our inner rock star.  I can hear Wayne Coyne calling already, no wait it's his lawyer, we have to take this.