Urination Nation

So after a clusterfuck of a good time.

2010-10-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

I thought I had once and for all lost my accounts, for my fucking band. Fortunately for me, I figured out a way to get it back, and now I have a failsafe. It's really annoying that these days to have a password it has to be a long string of random numbers characters and whatnot, to the point where I have no chance of remembering it, so of course I have to either write it down or have the computer remember, neither option is favorable far as actual safety goes.

Sigh, anyhoo,,,,,,,

And now just to see if I can get the damn Blog back up, here's an update on the album. YES it is still happening, hahaha, 9 songs are musically complete but due to schooling we are taking it easy for a bit.

Anyhoo this is the link to the new instrumental song called Urethra Franklin http://www.box.net/shared/l74ujqfeyu

Enjoy it, or not, whatever, we won't be making an online push until the album is all done.

New Logo WOOT!!!

2010-02-03T20:30:00.001-08:00

Wow, this is the first thing ever that I've done in Adobe Illustrator, I've been afraid of the program ever since I accidentally once opened it and it bit my nose off.

Living Liars

2009-09-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

You've been walking around all day handing in applications to places that sigh and shake their heads and say they will take it but there are about 200 applications in front of you, and you're depressed out of a job, you're running out of gas and the bills are due. Then you see this wallet on the left on the ground and your jaw drops you sprint in slow motion, and it's perfect there is no one around and it might just be the thing you need to make the day not a total loss. You rip it open and inside you find...

PERSONALITY ANALYSIS

1. If this was a real wallet, packed with real money, would you: A. Keep it? B. Take it to the police? C. Give some of the money to the poor? A and C are the same thing in your case, where is the option for strangle who ever left it there?

2. You have been underpaid for years. There’s a BIG mistake in your paycheck to your advantage, would you: A. Tell the boss? B. Keep quiet? C. Give some to a church? Why would you ever give anything to a church? The boss is skimming off the top anyways, which is why you had to take a paycut and then eventualy were laid off. Looks to me like this multiple choice needs a D. None of the above!

3. If telling a white lie would save a friend’s job, would you: A. Tell the truth? B. Act dumb? C. Lie? Only assholes would fuck their friends, besides it matters what kind of job it is, if it's a large corporate entity that can fire you at the drop of a hat then yes I will lie full out to them to help a friend, BECAUSE I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE!

4. Do you consider yourself to be a "good" person? A. Yes. B. No. Better than the assholes that leave fake money laying around deceiving people and pretending it's clever and going to convince anyone. Better than the assholes that spent 12 dollars paying for that fake wallet instead of just leaving 12 dollars out to actually help someone.

5. Have you ever told a lie for any reason (including "fibs" and "white" lies--be honest)? A. Yes. B. No. No, Prove me fucking wrong asshole!

6. Have you ever stolen something--irrespective of its value (listen to your conscience)? A. Yes. B. No. Yes, and I will do it again, and I will not bat a fucking eyelash, and if I knew where Ray Comfort lived I would fucking mugg him daily!

7. Would you consider a person who admits that they are a liar and a thief, to be a "good" person? Is Ted Stevens a good person? Is Ted Haggard a good person? How about Tammy Faye Baker? I'm a better person than the asshole that came up with this deceptive questionnaire!

8. Who do you think will enter Heaven? A. Those who say they are good when they are not? B. Liars and thieves? C. Those whom God has forgiven and cleansed of sin? Well no one will because there is no heaven, prove me wrong asshat! The premise of this whole question is so flawed it hurts.

9. Did you realize that the Bible warns that thieves, liars, fornicators (those who have had sex out of marriage), idolaters (those who create a god to suit themselves), adulterers, and the covetous (the greedy), will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven? Oh no, what ever shall I do, I think I'm going to go on with my life as if this information is completely made up bullshit, unless you can present me with some evidence to the contrary. Oh wait you can't I just need faith, hmm well here's a cup and it contains a drink, sure it smells like human feces and piss but you gotta have faith that I would never give you my own waste to drink, trust me!

10. Did you also realize that the Bible says that if you look with lust, you commit adultery in your heart? Holy Shit On Judgment Day every sin you have ever committed (even secret sins) OH POOP will come out as evidence of your guilt. When you stand before your holy Creator on Judgment Day, will you be innocent or guilty of breaking His Commandments? I'm seriously worried now that all this hard evidence has been provided. Will you go to Heaven or Hell (there is no such place as Purgatory)? Please, let go of your self-righteousness (saying that you are good when you are not). So I'm a bad person because I don't believe in sky daddies but you are a good person because you lie to people to bring them to your lord of asshole? Instead put your faith in Jesus Christ. Who? He suffered and died on the Cross, taking the punishment for all of your sins. Oh right that guy, you know the guy that knew he would not die and so he had nothing to worry about, yeah that's a sacrifice alright, very noble. God loves you so much He sent His Son to die in your place. Really, cus I still am going to die, maybe it didn't work, because people die everyday, those with faith and those without. Then Jesus rose from the dead and defeated death. It seems like there would be way more people here? If you will repent and trust Him, God will forgive your sins and give you everlasting life. Oh I get it, I will die just you know afterward my soul will fly up to heaven and I will live there playing harps and sucking back church approved beverages. Death will lose its sting! Without fear and pain you learn nothing and nothing is important and you loose your drive. Nothing is as important as your eternal salvation, so pray something like this right now (you may not have tomorrow): "Dear God, I have sinned against you. I beg to differ, for example, not living is self deceit is more important than just lying continuously. I now turn from all sin and trust Jesus Christ alone as my Lord and Savior. I will read Your Word daily and obey what I read. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen." Nah I'm busy trying to be a better person, rather than just saying magick words and sucking back faith juice till I expire and go nowhere.

Abraham was a dolt!

2009-07-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

Thank you lord for your many amazing ideas.

Urination Nation New Material Update

2009-07-19T04:07:00.000-07:00

Last night in about 5 hours we wrote about 2 minutes worth of music. Ok so those numbers are a bit misleading, I personally only contributed like 3 chords and the lyrical base for the structure of the song, the rest of the time I spent doodling and eating cake. Josh however having not written any music in a month or so, due to technical difficulties, went off and folks you are in for a treat. At first I could not believe my shitty little song was turning into this insane ear dazzling mindfuck. This by far is the most complex Urination Nation song to date, and it made me really happy that eventually we will be able to share it and blow everyone's minds as well. We are definitely raising the bar for whatever this next release will be. We have plans to get together again this coming Tuesday and hopefully finish up this first track and hopefully start another.

Depending on what songs we choose to include in this release, we already have 3 songs that just need me to finish the vocals, one of which is a cover. We have lyrics written for about another 4 songs, and perhaps another cover might be on the horizon. Don't worry we are not interested in doing covers of any songs you may know, so I doubt without specifically pointing it out that anyone will ever know. There is also a song called "Lemonade" which was specifically written to be entered into a MySpace contest, if we get it done in time it may just happen and then we will be asking all our 1 fan to helps us drive it right to the top, so we can get signed to MurdochSpace records.

So far the lyrical themes include Religion, RIAA, Lemonade, Gordon Brown, Satan, Being Different, Publishers, Abortion and Cops.

If you have suggestions for topics throw them our way.

In related news, finally after years of battling my laziness, the entire debut album "Urinous Anus We Pee" is available for download online. http://alonetone.com/urinationnation/playlists/urinous-anus-we-pee Just click on the down arrows and download any songs you may find tolerable. They are free to spread like the plague, we have no aspirations of glory or fame, we are far too ugly for anything like that, we just want to spread our dirty propaganda under the guise of fun.

The UN

Christians should use marriage to seek "holiness, not happiness

2009-06-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

I personally could not agree more, and even though this study is 10 years old, it obviously works wonders. "the myth of the evangelical husband." "This is a husband who is expected to make enough money that his wife can stay home, who goes to Promise Keepers and dates
his wife every week and dates his kids every week and takes his kids out every month to talk about abstinence and men get tired," Mr. Thomas said. They get tired because they don't believe this made up fantasy world after 10 years of a shitty job and a strained relationship.

Barna Research Group

Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.

More Fun

Take what you want from these, I don't advocate marriage in any form, I think that if you really want to be with a person then you will be with this person no matter what. If you use religion or tradition as a substitute for genuine feelings then you're fucked and you're fucking someone else too. Before considering marriage I suggest you consider what will change, if you come up with nothing, then you've done the math correctly and you have no reason to proceed.

The UN

Someone proabably should keep count!

2009-05-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

"We can quantify the deaths caused by both communism and fascism, but we will never know how many deaths have been the result of capitalism; of nothing more noble than a rich man wanting to be even richer, and sacrificing the health and lives of millions of workers to achieve this. Don't even try to count how many people capitalism has killed, because not only will you not know where to begin, but also it will never end." - Julie Burchill

Folks, you gotta print money to spend money!

2009-05-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

My favorite part is that they will push through any bill that asks for large amounts of money without strings, and usually they will add on to it, so that every ones pet project gets a little taste. However when it's time to really take a look at where the magic money comes from it's hard work trying to get enough votes to support that. Gee I wonder why the people that have their hands deep in the magic bottomless cookie jar don't want anyone to know just where the cookies really come from, could it be SATAN?

http://www.ronpaul.com/on-the-issues/audit-the-federal-reserve-hr-1207/

If your representative is not on the following list of HR 1207 co-sponsors, call their offices, write to them, email them, etc. Let them know they need to support HR 1207. If you live in their district, let them know. Go to their office.

Capitol Switchboard: (202) 224-3121

HR 1207 Co-Sponsors (as of 5/14/2009)

Rep Abercrombie, Neil [HI-1] - 2/26/2009
Rep Aderholt, Robert B. [AL-4] - 5/6/2009
Rep Adler, John H. [NJ-3] - 5/6/2009
Rep Akin, W. Todd [MO-2] - 3/19/2009
Rep Alexander, Rodney [LA-5] - 3/10/2009
Rep Austria, Steve [OH-7] - 5/6/2009
Rep Bachmann, Michele [MN-6] - 2/26/2009
Rep Bachus, Spencer [AL-6] - 4/29/2009
Rep Baldwin, Tammy [WI-2] - 4/21/2009
Rep Barrett, J. Gresham [SC-3] - 4/28/2009
Rep Barrow, John [GA-12] - 5/12/2009
Rep Bartlett, Roscoe G. [MD-6] - 2/26/2009
Rep Barton, Joe [TX-6] - 5/4/2009
Rep Biggert, Judy [IL-13] - 4/28/2009
Rep Bilbray, Brian P. [CA-50] - 4/21/2009
Rep Bilirakis, Gus M. [FL-9] - 5/4/2009
Rep Bishop, Rob [UT-1] - 4/21/2009
Rep Blackburn, Marsha [TN-7] - 3/16/2009
Rep Blunt, Roy [MO-7] - 3/24/2009
Rep Bono Mack, Mary [CA-45] - 4/29/2009
Rep Boozman, John [AR-3] - 5/7/2009
Rep Boustany, Charles W., Jr. [LA-7] - 5/13/2009
Rep Brady, Kevin [TX-8] - 4/22/2009
Rep Broun, Paul C. [GA-10] - 2/26/2009
Rep Brown, Henry E., Jr. [SC-1] - 4/28/2009
Rep Buchanan, Vern [FL-13] - 3/17/2009
Rep Burgess, Michael C. [TX-26] - 3/19/2009
Rep Burton, Dan [IN-5] - 2/26/2009
Rep Buyer, Steve [IN-4] - 4/30/2009
Rep Calvert, Ken [CA-44] - 4/29/2009
Rep Campbell, John [CA-48] - 5/4/2009
Rep Capito, Shelley Moore [WV-2] - 4/1/2009
Rep Carter, John R. [TX-31] - 3/31/2009
Rep Cassidy, Bill [LA-6] - 5/4/2009
Rep Castle, Michael N. [DE] - 3/17/2009
Rep Chaffetz, Jason [UT-3] - 3/6/2009
Rep Cole, Tom [OK-4] - 4/21/2009
Rep Conaway, K. Michael [TX-11] - 5/7/2009
Rep Crenshaw, Ander [FL-4] - 5/4/2009
Rep Culberson, John Abney [TX-7] - 3/26/2009
Rep Davis, Geoff [KY-4] - 5/6/2009
Rep Deal, Nathan [GA-9] - 3/23/2009
Rep DeFazio, Peter A. [OR-4] - 3/9/2009
Rep Dent, Charles W. [PA-15] - 5/6/2009
Rep Doggett, Lloyd [TX-25] - 4/21/2009
Rep Duncan, John J., Jr. [TN-2] - 3/6/2009
Rep Ehlers, Vernon J. [MI-3] - 4/21/2009
Rep Fallin, Mary [OK-5] - 4/2/2009
Rep Flake, Jeff [AZ-6] - 5/11/2009
Rep Fleming, John [LA-4] - 3/18/2009
Rep Fortenberry, Jeff [NE-1] - 5/12/2009
Rep Foxx, Virginia [NC-5] - 3/10/2009
Rep Franks, Trent [AZ-2] - 3/23/2009
Rep Garrett, Scott [NJ-5] - 3/5/2009
Rep Gerlach, Jim [PA-6] - 5/11/2009
Rep Gingrey, Phil [GA-11] - 3/30/2009
Rep Gohmert, Louie [TX-1] - 4/23/2009
Rep Goodlatte, Bob [VA-6] - 4/28/2009
Rep Granger, Kay [TX-12] - 4/28/2009
Rep Graves, Sam [MO-6] - 4/22/2009
Rep Grayson, Alan [FL-8] - 3/11/2009
Rep Guthrie, Brett [KY-2] - 5/7/2009
Rep Hall, Ralph M. [TX-4] - 4/29/2009
Rep Hare, Phil [IL-17] - 5/11/2009
Rep Harper, Gregg [MS-3] - 5/11/2009
Rep Hastings, Doc [WA-4] - 5/11/2009
Rep Heller, Dean [NV-2] - 3/6/2009
Rep Hensarling, Jeb [TX-5] - 5/4/2009
Rep Herger, Wally [CA-2] - 4/21/2009
Rep Herseth Sandlin, Stephanie [SD] - 5/6/2009
Rep Hoekstra, Peter [MI-2] - 4/28/2009
Rep Hunter, Duncan D. [CA-52] - 5/13/2009
Rep Inglis, Bob [SC-4] - 4/23/2009
Rep Inslee, Jay [WA-1] - 5/12/2009
Rep Jenkins, Lynn [KS-2] - 4/23/2009
Rep Johnson, Sam [TX-3] - 4/22/2009
Rep Johnson, Timothy V. [IL-15] - 4/23/2009
Rep Jones, Walter B., Jr. [NC-3] - 2/26/2009
Rep Kagen, Steve [WI-8] - 2/26/2009
Rep Kaptur, Marcy [OH-9] - 4/23/2009
Rep Kingston, Jack [GA-1] - 3/6/2009
Rep Kline, John [MN-2] - 4/29/2009
Rep Lamborn, Doug [CO-5] - 4/21/2009
Rep Lance, Leonard [NJ-7] - 5/11/2009
Rep Latham, Tom [IA-4] - 4/21/2009
Rep LaTourette, Steven C. [OH-14] - 4/28/2009
Rep Linder, John [GA-7] - 5/6/2009
Rep LoBiondo, Frank A. [NJ-2] - 5/4/2009
Rep Lucas, Frank D. [OK-3] - 4/21/2009
Rep Luetkemeyer, Blaine [MO-9] - 4/21/2009
Rep Lummis, Cynthia M. [WY] - 3/19/2009
Rep Lungren, Daniel E. [CA-3] - 5/7/2009
Rep Mack, Connie [FL-14] - 5/12/2009
Rep Maffei, Daniel B. [NY-25] - 5/12/2009
Rep Manzullo, Donald A. [IL-16] - 4/21/2009
Rep Marchant, Kenny [TX-24] - 3/11/2009
Rep Massa, Eric J. J. [NY-29] - 4/22/2009
Rep McCarthy, Kevin [CA-22] - 5/4/2009
Rep McCaul, Michael T. [TX-10] - 4/21/2009
Rep McClintock, Tom [CA-4] - 3/6/2009
Rep McCotter, Thaddeus G. [MI-11] - 3/19/2009
Rep McDermott, Jim [WA-7] - 4/29/2009
Rep McHenry, Patrick T. [NC-10] - 4/30/2009
Rep McHugh, John M. [NY-23] - 5/4/2009
Rep McMorris Rodgers, Cathy [WA-5] - 5/4/2009
Rep Mica, John L. [FL-7] - 5/12/2009
Rep Michaud, Michael H. [ME-2] - 5/7/2009
Rep Miller, Candice S. [MI-10] - 4/28/2009
Rep Miller, Jeff [FL-1] - 3/24/2009
Rep Minnick, Walter [ID-1] - 5/13/2009
Rep Moran, Jerry [KS-1] - 5/4/2009
Rep Murphy, Tim [PA-18] - 4/29/2009
Rep Myrick, Sue Wilkins [NC-9] - 4/28/2009
Rep Neugebauer, Randy [TX-19] - 4/30/2009
Rep Olson, Pete [TX-22] - 4/21/2009
Rep Paulsen, Erik [MN-3] - 3/30/2009
Rep Pence, Mike [IN-6] - 4/21/2009
Rep Perriello, Thomas S.P. [VA-5] - 5/13/2009
Rep Peterson, Collin C. [MN-7] - 3/19/2009
Rep Petri, Thomas E. [WI-6] - 3/10/2009
Rep Pitts, Joseph R. [PA-16] - 4/28/2009
Rep Platts, Todd Russell [PA-19] - 3/19/2009
Rep Poe, Ted [TX-2] - 2/26/2009
Rep Posey, Bill [FL-15] - 2/26/2009
Rep Price, Tom [GA-6] - 3/10/2009
Rep Putnam, Adam H. [FL-12] - 4/28/2009
Rep Radanovich, George [CA-19] - 5/6/2009
Rep Rehberg, Denny [MT] - 2/26/2009
Rep Roe, David P. [TN-1] - 4/21/2009
Rep Rogers, Mike D. [AL-3] - 5/13/2009
Rep Rohrabacher, Dana [CA-46] - 3/6/2009
Rep Rooney, Thomas J. [FL-16] - 4/22/2009
Rep Ros-Lehtinen, Ileana [FL-18] - 4/28/2009
Rep Royce, Edward R. [CA-40] - 5/12/2009
Rep Schakowsky, Janice D. [IL-9] - 5/6/2009
Rep Schock, Aaron [IL-18] - 5/6/2009
Rep Sensenbrenner, F. James, Jr. [WI-5] - 5/7/2009
Rep Sessions, Pete [TX-32] - 3/23/2009
Rep Shadegg, John B. [AZ-3] - 5/7/2009
Rep Shimkus, John [IL-19] - 4/22/2009
Rep Shuster, Bill [PA-9] - 5/7/2009
Rep Simpson, Michael K. [ID-2] - 4/28/2009
Rep Smith, Adam [WA-9] - 4/22/2009
Rep Smith, Adrian [NE-3] - 4/28/2009
Rep Smith, Lamar [TX-21] - 4/2/2009
Rep Stark, Fortney Pete [CA-13] - 3/26/2009
Rep Stearns, Cliff [FL-6] - 3/6/2009
Rep Taylor, Gene [MS-4] - 3/6/2009
Rep Terry, Lee [NE-2] - 3/30/2009
Rep Thompson, Glenn [PA-5] - 4/22/2009
Rep Tiahrt, Todd [KS-4] - 4/28/2009
Rep Tiberi, Patrick J. [OH-12] - 4/28/2009
Rep Turner, Michael R. [OH-3] - 5/13/2009
Rep Upton, Fred [MI-6] - 4/29/2009
Rep Walden, Greg [OR-2] - 5/4/2009
Rep Walz, Timothy J. [MN-1] - 5/7/2009
Rep Wamp, Zach [TN-3] - 3/16/2009
Rep Westmoreland, Lynn A. [GA-3] - 4/2/2009
Rep Wilson, Joe [SC-2] - 4/29/2009
Rep Wittman, Robert J. [VA-1] - 4/1/2009
Rep Woolsey, Lynn C. [CA-6] - 2/26/2009
Rep Young, Don [AK] - 3/6/2009

Note: HR 1207’s identical companion bill in the Senate is known as S604, the Federal Reserve Sunshine Act, sponsored by Sen. Bernie Sanders. If you contact your Senators, ask them to support S604. At this time S604 doesn’t have any co-sponsors.

These black people hate Obama because he's black!!! Why else would they be there?

2009-05-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

Why beating your children may be the right thing to do!

2009-05-09T03:43:00.001-07:00

This is what the bible suggests, though I feel it is less a literal suggestion and more of a vague idea, for example I'm quite convinced that using my fists imparts wisdom, or perhaps a shock collar, but most importantly it is that when you use the figurative "rod of correction" you do it to impart wisdom.

Let's say your child comes home and says mom look I stole this candy bar, at this point you are obliged to ask was it wal-mart, if the answer is no, then the correction can begin.

You're child is a teenager and they say, hey mom I had unprotected sex because condoms spread AIDS just like the Pope and Abstinence only education tells me and I want to procreate even though I am still reliant upon you fully. Here if you're child is a boy, you are allowed to castrate him to impart wisdom, if your child is a girl you are allowed hit her in the face with a pan and when she wakes up, tell her that you have relocated to a less stupid state.

Now it's important to impart this wisdom before they grow up and decide that they should join the military during a time of an illegal proxy war. Unfortunately if you haven't corrected them by this point it may be out of your hands and you may find your little bundle of joy on TV literally on a military evangelical color coded crusade, to get more people to watch the Left Behind movies without throwing up fecal deposits, in the direction of Ray Comforts shit stained upper lip (he claims is a mustache).

We hunt people for jesus, we do, we hunt them down, get the hound of heaven after them, so we get them in the kingdom, right?, that's what we do, that's our business - LT Colonel Gary Hensley

UN

Drug Prohibition Is Fascism

2009-04-23T05:02:00.000-07:00

Just incase there is any doubt/prejudice, I don't do drugs and neither does James Randi, that's not what this is about, this is about personal freedom and the retarded drug laws in this Piss Nation. I have never heard anyone from the government being honest about drugs, and neither have you, they have no studies to back up their fear mongering, they don't have logic on their side, the only thing they have are guns. Christian morality has created this world that is afraid of freedom but uses the word relentlessly to lie to themselves and pat each other on the ass for a job well done, god bless america land of the...?

Visit the link below to stay informed on how you too could be fucked over in the greatest country in the world, because of course the terrorists hate us for our...?

http://reason.com/blog/show/133010.html

Scroll down and read the last bit about how you're liberal government thinks this is all honky dory.

The home of the brave and the land of the...?

The answer is the same to all of these questions:

A fruitless job search in a flatulent economy.

2009-04-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

Job # 719

Date Posted 2011-01-08 <-from the future :O

Job Title MUNGER TRAINEE

Description

The Co-Munger Trainee position provides true potential for advancement!

About the Co-Munger Trainee Position

The Co-Munger Trainee position at Spudway SuperFascistica LLC is more than just a job, it's an opportunity. After completion of our in-death, hands-on scrotum training program, Co-Mungers are assigned to select virgins to work alongside some of our most successful Store Mungers. Our strong "promote from within the anus" philosophy makes the Co-Munger Trainee position one with true potential for sexual advancement to the ranks of Store Munger, District Munger and beyond . With over 9 stores in nine states and almost 35 customers visiting our locations everyday, we value our employees money. We offer competitive hand-jobs, anuses and terrific beer-nefits.

The position of Co-Munger Trainee is a developmentally challenged one, focused on attracting new college dropouts as well as experienced retail professionals. This is the position that will enable you to learn, grow and advance to the Store Munger position within the designated market area. Many of the responsibilities of the Store Munger will also be yours. The Co-Munger is involved in:

* Hiring prostitutes

* Developing and directing the store's prostitutes

* Completing scrotum handling, condoms, maintenance of erections and merchandising responsibilities

* Operation of the rape room in the Store Munger's absence

* Ensuring all customers receive fast and friendly servicing in the basement facility every time they visit the store

Are you up for a challenge? Are you looking to join an industry follower that offers limited opportunities? Then apply now!

Benefits

* Store Munger Bonus Potential of up to $4 / month

* No Pension and no 401k with no Company Match

* $3 / Year Tuition Reimbursement

* No Health, Dental or Life Insurance

* And many more benefits!

Requirements

Successful candidates for the Co-Munger Trainee position must have

* An expired driver's license

* Bus Pass

* Prior digging / munging experience

* College education is elitist and frowned upon so not required with desired digging / munging experience

Category Business, Munging, Excavation & Necrophilia

Education Required No Degree Required

Type Full Time

Hours 90

Wage/Per 29 to 37 bucks/ per year

How to Apply email_

Company Spudway SuperFascistica

Contact Shawn Dicker

Contact's phone 616-954-7015

Contact's email shawncdicker@ssfllc.com

Address 4665 88th St. SE Suite A-1103

City Kentwood

State MI

Zip 49512

Fax 616-954-7637

Website www.spudway.com

FUCK EASTER

2009-04-12T02:01:00.000-07:00

Increasingly secular Western societies risk drifting into a "desert of critical thinking", the Pope has warned in his Good Friday address.

Speaking during the Way of the Cross procession at the Colosseum in Rome, Pope Benedict XVI said that "religious sentiments" were increasingly ranked among the "unwelcome leftovers of antiquity" and held up to scorn and ridicule.

How perceptive of your eminence, it's because it's true.

He used this year's Good Friday meditations at the Stations of the Cross to compare attempts to purge religion from public life to the mockery Jesus Christ faced from the mob as he was led out to be crucified.

Yes Jesus being mocked is the same as people realizing that religion is bullshit and because there is more than one perhaps the public arena isn't the place for it's nasty little nuggets of retardation.

Speaking at the seventh Station of the Cross, where Jesus is made an "object of fun", he said: "We are shocked to see to what levels of brutality human beings can sink. Jesus is humiliated in new ways even today. When things that are most holy and profound in the faith are being trivialised, the sense of the sacred is allowed to erode.

That's because nothing is sacred, and people are finally realizing it.

"Everything in public life risks being desacralised: persons, places, pledges, prayers, practices, words, sacred writings, religious formulae, symbols, ceremonies.

Yes kind of like the catholic church rolled over the pagans, kind of like they stole their symbols and holidays and ceremonies, along the way desecrating the people that stood in the way, tearing down places trivializing prayers to older gods, replacing them with their particular form of guilt and lies.

"Our life together is being increasingly secularised. Religious life grows diffident. Thus we see the most momentous matters placed among trifles, and trivialities glorified.

Ok here I agree, I mean have you seen mTV, or watched CNN for more than a few hours at a time?

"Values and norms that held societies together and drew people to higher ideals are laughed at and thrown overboard. Jesus continues to be ridiculed!"

That's a non-sequitur your eminence, Jesus being ridiculed has nothing to do with any of the things that held societies together or higher ideals, Jesus is an amalgamation of your ego and your desire for guilt oh and money.

The Pope, who turns 82 later this month, prayed that Christians would respond to the problem by growing in faith.

Another word for ignorance.

"May we never question or mock serious things in life like a cynic," he prayed.

Wouldn't want anyone thinking or questioning the status quo, oh no let's treat it with respect, when it hasn't earned any. STOP MAKING JESUS SAD!!!

"Allow us not to drift into the desert of godlessness. Enable us to perceive you in the gentle breeze, see you in street corners, love you in the unborn child."

That's a wonderfull sentiment, yes when I see a fetus I think Jesus allright, and that gentle breeze might be a fart but the crack head sleeping in the street corners sure does remind me of that lovable martyr.

The annual Good Friday procession at the Colosseum, where thousands of early Christians died as martyrs, tends to focus on the troubles facing the world.

Wow another Non-Sequitor, since they were martyrs uhm what where their names again? Oh well whatever I'm sure they still did a good job, oh ok so them dying reflects the economic situation, or pirates, or you know dem terrorists, yes when I see martyrs I know I'm thinking. Shit where did I leave my keys?

On Easter Sunday, the Pope's Urbi et Orbi (to the City and to the World) message is of a completely different tone, reflecting his hope and joy on the day of the Resurrection.

I suppose this isn't the time to tell him that this isn't the day of anybodys ressurection, because nobody has ever been resurected, well not from the dead anyways. Unless wait a minute, when did superman come back from the dead, what day was that?

The Pope's Good Friday message this year came after several high-profile British cases in which Christians have been reprimanded by their public-sector employees for talking about their faith at work.

I don't think they should of been reprimanded, I think being an annoying twat comes with it's own reward. I still prefer freedom of speech to everyone being happy.

Caroline Petrie, 45, a nurse from Weston-super-Mare in Somerset, was suspended by an NHS trust last December after being reported by a carer for offering to pray for an elderly patient. North Somerset Primary Care Trust finally relented in February and reinstated her, but maintained Ms Petrie should not have offered to pray.

Again I think that's fine, I've had countless people tell me they were going to pray for me, and you know I doubt they did because all the studies point to prayer acctualy making someone situation worse.

Jennie Cain, a receptionist at a Christian school was left facing dismissal for sending a private email asking for spiritual support after her five-year-old daughter was reprimanded for talking about hell.

Once again that's just stupid, I mean and this in a xian school, who needs lions when you have xians, just throw them to their own.

New NHS guidelines state that doctors and nurses face harassment charges if they are accused of "preaching" to staff or patients, while a draft code of practice for teachers could be used by schools to discipline those who discuss their beliefs with pupils.

Preaching is harrasment, but that dosen't matter, they have to be allowed to do it, so that I can tell them to fuck off and equally respected. Teachers should also be allowed to discuss their beliefs but should not be allowed to prostelitize because children don't understand and don't have all the bullshit filters in place. However if I asked a teacher what religion they were, I want them to answer so that I know weather or not I can trust them on anything else they say.

Such developments led Dr John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York, to proclaim in February that many Christians now "have the daily challenge of living by a set of values that the world thinks are mad".

You chose it you live with it.

Last Sunday Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor also referred to the problem secularisation posed to Christians in his final letter to Catholic congregations as the Archbishop of Westminster.

He wrote: "We live in a very secular society that finds it difficult for people to hear and to experience the presence of God in their lives."

No no, it's god who makes it hard, if god wanted to not be difficult he could easilly be approachable, reveal him self and tons more people would embrace him and give him money and buy him large golden hats.

here is how other countries who don't give a shit about jesus and never have cellebrate holidays older than the xian religion.

In Norway, in addition to staying at mountain cabins and cross-country skiing in the mountains and painting eggs, a contemporary tradition is to read or watch murder mysteries at Easter.
In Finland, Sweden and Denmark, traditions include egg painting and small children dressed as witches collecting candy door-to-door, in exchange for decorated pussy willows. This is a result of the mixing of an old Orthodox tradition (blessing houses with willow branches) and the Scandinavian Easter witch tradition. In the northern and eastern parts of the Netherlands (Twente and Achterhoek), Easter Fires (in Dutch: "Paasvuur") are lit on Easter Day at sunset. Easter Fires also take place on the same day in large portions of Northern Germany ("Osterfeuer").
In the Czech Republic and Slovakia, a tradition of spanking or whipping is carried out on Easter Monday. In the morning, men spank women with a special handmade whip called a pomlázka (in Czech) or korbáč (in Slovak), or, in eastern Moravia and Slovakia, throw cold water on them. The pomlázka/korbáč consists of eight, twelve or even twenty-four withies (willow rods), is usually from half a meter to two meters long and decorated with coloured ribbons at the end. The spanking normally is not painful or intended to cause suffering. A legend says that women should be spanked in order to keep their health and beauty during whole next year.

An additional purpose can be for men to exhibit their attraction to women; unvisited women can even feel offended. Traditionally, the spanked woman gives a coloured egg and sometimes a small amount of money to the man as a sign of her thanks. In some regions the women can get revenge in the afternoon or the following day when they can pour a bucket of cold water on any man. The habit slightly varies across Slovakia and the Czech Republic. A similar tradition existed in Poland (where it is called Dyngus Day), but it is now little more than an all-day water fight.

Censorshit

2009-03-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I spotted your user name and have made the decision that it does not meet our general guidelines for good taste. I have changed it to U-Nation. I hope this will not be a problem.

I received this e-mail from a website I joined due to my interest in their content. I felt like sharing this because this is the first time "Good Taste" disqualified Urination from the lexicon. I could even kind of understand if my name had been Piss Nation, but it's not is it, it's a joke. I started a punk band just to use the name, because it's not really dirty at all, it's not crass, it's a joke on The UN, and it's a joke on the rhyming scheme and depending on how you feel about the nation you live in, it's a joke on that as well. The worst part about it is that whenever someone says something like "Good Taste" or "Common Decency" or "Greater Good", they assume for you, they never ask you anything, they just decide what's best for all the rest, and apparently it's best to hold in your pee.

In the end though it's just censorshit.

Sincerely,
U-Nation

I celebrate Saint Pelagius Day by avoiding group think activities.

2009-03-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

Murchiú's life of Saint Patrick contains a supposed prophecy by the druids which gives an impression of how Patrick and other Christian missionaries were seen by those hostile to them:

Across the sea will come Adze-head, crazed in the head,
his cloak with hole for the head, his stick bent in the head.
He will chant impieties from a table in the front of his house;
all his people will answer: "so be it, so be it."

Gee who does that sound like, hey wait I know, any fundamentalist/evangelical. The druids were not wrong about so called Saint Patrick, he went to Ireland to try to convert those darn pagans, which is a derogatory term made up by christians in the vein of heathen. Due to his lack of education and complete lack of the language of the land Saint Patrick wasn't necessarily as successful as he claimed in one of his letters that exist to this day. His numbers were somewhere in the thousands of people baptized and thus converted to the religiosity of the catholic dogmatism, but this cannot be verified and so his impact is somewhat in doubt.

Now let's consider for a minute why they had to convert the pagans?

Characteristic of pagan traditions is the absence of proselytism and the presence of a living mythology which explains religious practice.

Wait you mean they didn't even preach their heathen ways? No wonder the christians won, all they had to do was borrow some symbolism and pretend that hey it's pretty much the same thing anyways :::wink,nudge:::

It is widely accepted that the Celtic cross has ancient, pre-Christian origins. It is similar to the so-called "sun cross", which can be found in Bronze Age Europe (Nordic Bronze Age, Urnfield culture). The archaic English word for cross as an instrument of torture is rood (literally "pole", cognate with rod). The word cross in English derives only indirectly from Latin crux via Old Irish and possibly Old Norse, introduced in the 10th century.

In Ireland, it is a popular myth that the Celtic Christian cross was introduced by Saint Patrick or possibly Saint Declan during his time converting the pagan Irish. It is believed that Saint Patrick combined the symbol of Christianity with the sun cross, to give pagan followers an idea of the importance of the cross by linking it with the idea of the life-giving properties of the sun.

Oh how wonderful, the sun gives life and you have a cross as part of that symbol hey uhh Jesus died on a cross so it's the same thing, we're not that different you and I, now just ignore all the other bullshit, while I slide more premises past you.

It wasn't just the pagans that needed the cleansing breadth of deceit, those dirty non guilt ridden christians, had to get rid of those too, or as it was known at the time Pelagianism. These heretics didn't believe in original sin at least not in the way they were supposed to.

Pelagianism is a theological theory named after Pelagius (ad. 354 – ad. 420/440). It is the belief that original sin did not taint human nature and that mortal will is still capable of choosing good or evil without special Divine aid. Thus, Adam's sin was "to set a bad example" for his progeny, but his actions did not have the other consequences imputed to Original Sin. Pelagianism views the role of Jesus as "setting a good example" for the rest of humanity (thus counteracting Adam's bad example) as well as providing an atonement for our sins. In short, humanity has full control, and thus full responsibility, for obeying the Gospel in addition to full responsibility for every sin (the latter insisted upon by both proponents and opponents of Pelagianism).

In case you're getting confused, they believed that if your dad does something against god, this does not mean you did it, the actions of one don't condemn their offspring, you choose to be good or bad. What an amazing idea, sure the church now has had to concede that yes free will is important to make sure we are still guilty taking the responsibility off gods unnecesary shoulders for creating us so poorly that we need this constant faith testing and repentance and hail marying.

Now how about we sum up some conclusions, so called Saint Patrick goes to Ireland proselytizes his little heart out no doubt converting at least a few pagans. He steals their symbolism, and pretends it was christian all along. After his death they decide he's a saint, though no pope actually makes him one, as it would take 2 miracles to be considered a saint. In the present day idiots who were not born in Ireland and who's parents were not born there and likely not even their grandparents, but they still celebrate by doing what, oh yes drinking and wearing green, and sporting symbols that belonged to the pagans while praising so called Saint Patrick for converting them. Not that they know that, that would be giving them far too much credit, I dare you to try it next year, go ahead go up to someone wearing green drinking a beer and sporting a sun cross tatoo, and ask them, who is Patrick and what did he do?

Also just a wild guess but the method they used in central europe might be more the way the christians also capture Ireland.

As for the remaining pockets of resistance, they were overcome region by region - primarily due to the work of the quickly expanding network of monasteries.

The Frankish church of the Merovingians was shaped by a number of internal and external forces: it had to come to terms with an established Gallo-Roman Christian hierarchy entrenched in a culturally resistant aristocracy; it had to Christianize pagan Frankish sensibilities and effectively suppress their expression; it had to provide a new theological basis for Merovingian forms of kingship, which were deeply rooted in pagan Germanic tradition; it had to accommodate Irish and Anglo-Saxon missionary activities on the one hand and papal requirements on the other. The Carolingian reformation of monastic life and teaching and church-state relations can be seen both as the culmination of the Frankish church and a transformation of it.

Ever wonder why is the Irish flag green, white and orange? There is some debate as to the meaning of the colors, but it is generally understood that the green stands for the Catholics, the orange for the Protestants and white for peace between them. I feel the orange stripe should be much smaller than the green and the white even smaller than that, I mean if we're trying to be accurate here.

Turtles all the way down

2009-03-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: "What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant Fred Phelps." The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, "What is Fred Phelps standing on?" "You're very clever, young man, very clever," said the old lady. "But it's Fred Phelps all the way down!"

Quick before he claps!

2009-03-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

Pakistan respects the practice of using sticks no wider than a thumb to spread the good word.

This is perhaps a first in a series of humorous commentaries on why
there is no need for humanity.

For more information on how you can help please visit http://www.vhemt.org/

How it all began?

2009-03-14T01:31:00.000-07:00

The UN: (4:15:05 AM) i really thought I could do it, because Im so desperate to not be a janitor anymore, but then I realized that there is a reason Janitors dont Day Trade, they don't have enough money to even start and then 90% people who do Day Trade loose all their money while the 10% who are magically the same people that write the laws that make it easy for them to keep hiding the taxes they should be paying, while the janitor pays % wise a much larger amount in taxes while making much less money, Praise Allah
OL: (4:15:36 AM) why do you not have a blog
OL: (4:15:49 AM) honestly id read it every day
OL: (4:15:56 AM) and id link it to people to read
OL: (4:16:12 AM) you have more interesting stuff to say than 90 percent of the blogs i read

After that exchange I knew my path was clear, it was my destiny to join the wicked world of the blogs.

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