Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A fruitless job search in a flatulent economy.

Job # 719 
Date Posted 2011-01-08 <-from the future :O
Job Title MUNGER TRAINEE 
Description
The Co-Munger Trainee position provides true potential for advancement!

About the Co-Munger Trainee Position

The Co-Munger Trainee position at Spudway SuperFascistica LLC is more than just a job, it's an opportunity. After completion of our in-death, hands-on scrotum training program, Co-Mungers are assigned to select virgins to work alongside some of our most successful Store Mungers. Our strong "promote from within the anus" philosophy makes the Co-Munger Trainee position one with true potential for sexual advancement to the ranks of Store Munger, District Munger and beyond . With over 9 stores in nine states and almost 35 customers visiting our locations everyday, we value our employees money. We offer competitive hand-jobs, anuses and terrific beer-nefits.

The position of Co-Munger Trainee is a developmentally challenged one, focused on attracting new college dropouts as well as experienced retail professionals. This is the position that will enable you to learn, grow and advance to the Store Munger position within the designated market area. Many of the responsibilities of the Store Munger will also be yours. The Co-Munger is involved in:

    * Hiring prostitutes 
    * Developing and directing the store's prostitutes
    * Completing scrotum handling, condoms, maintenance of erections and merchandising responsibilities
    * Operation of the rape room in the Store Munger's absence
    * Ensuring all customers receive fast and friendly servicing in the basement facility every time they visit the store

Are you up for a challenge? Are you looking to join an industry follower that offers limited opportunities? Then apply now!

Benefits

    * Store Munger Bonus Potential of up to $4 / month
    * No Pension and no 401k with no Company Match
    * $3 / Year Tuition Reimbursement
    * No Health, Dental or Life Insurance
    * And many more benefits!

Requirements

Successful candidates for the Co-Munger Trainee position must have

    * An expired driver's license
    * Bus Pass 
    * Prior digging / munging experience
    * College education is elitist and frowned upon so not required with desired digging / munging experience

Category Business, Munging, Excavation & Necrophilia 
Education Required No Degree Required 
Type Full Time 
Hours 90 
Wage/Per 29 to 37 bucks/ per year
How to Apply email_ 
Company Spudway SuperFascistica 
Contact Shawn Dicker 
Contact's phone 616-954-7015 
Contact's email shawncdicker@ssfllc.com 
Address 4665 88th St. SE Suite A-1103 
City Kentwood 
State MI 
Zip 49512 
Fax 616-954-7637 
Website www.spudway.com  

No comments:

Post a Comment